Lockdown Protesters Would’ve Wanted Titanic to Sink Sooner, Kimmel Says

 Lockdown Protesters Would’ve Wanted Titanic to Sink Sooner, Kimmel Says

“Now, these protests have clearly been infused with far-right ideology. Many demonstrators wore MAGA hats, they held up anti-Semitic signs and in Michigan, they even waved Confederate flags, a clear symbol of Michigan’s proud Southern heritage.” — TREVOR NOAH

“Now we’ve all been isolating for over a month now, and some of us are starting to go a little kooky in the old squirrel cage, like a handful of idiots who were out this weekend protesting against social distancing. For instance, this man in Washington State, carrying the sign ‘Give me liberty, or give me Covid-19.’ Buddy, you’re in a large crowd, you’re not wearing a mask, you’re not six feet away from people — you might not need to choose.” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Many of the protesters lamented the loss of their everyday activities, like this woman in Wisconsin with the sign, ‘I want a haircut.’ Uh, looks like your sign has a typo. We fixed it for you. It should read, ‘I want to endanger the lives of your grandparents in exchange for frosted tips.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

“Despite everyone who works for him telling people to stay at home, despite the official White House mandate being ‘shelter in place’ over the weekend, the guy who runs the White House tweeted ‘Liberate Michigan,’ ‘Liberate Minnesota’ and ‘Liberate Virginia.’ This from a man who refuses to even liberate Melania.” — JIMMY KIMMEL

“To be clear, Trump is encouraging his followers to protest his own recommendations. That’s how much he needs to hear a chanting mob. He’s like angry Tinkerbell. [as Trump] ‘Quick, kids, scream “lock her up” or I’ll die.’” — STEPHEN COLBERT

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